72 thoughts on “July 2014 Accountability Update”

1. Although you scolded yourself mightily over your July purchases, I see two important insights you have gained–not from mistakes but from success! One is that you see you tend to purchase seasonally and therefore will probably spend more seasonally–i.e., instead of a month to month *item* mindset, you’re shifting to a seasonal *wardrobe* mindset. Since that’s the way you wear your clothes and the way they are marketed, it makes a lot of sense. Second, you acknowledged to yourself that you really enjoy shopping the Nordstrom’s sale. That makes sense, too, so you can plan to incorporate it into a yearly shopping plan. Those sales are not the dregs that haven’t sold: they are pre-sales of current merchandise. Nordstrom’s sells quality merchandise, has excellent customer service, and a good return policy. The only caveat, as you point out, is that it’s just as easy to get swept away by a good deal as it is in consignment stores. . .But I think gaining those two insights is really good.

   • Thanks for pointing this out, Amy. You’re right that I have gained some very important insights from my July shopping experience. I’m definitely going to plan differently for 2015 as a result. I think you mentioned in a previous comment that you shop seasonally. I’d like to move more in that direction and shop less often but buy more pieces when I do shop. I think I will ultimately be more successful using that strategy and my wardrobe will be more cohesive. Hopefully over time I won’t get so swept away by the Nordstrom sale. It was a bit crazy this year!

     • Another insight I picked up on was that you said cobalt is your favorite color *right now.* I know I get swept up in my current color obsessions so it’s probably a good idea to only choose a few really nice pieces in any particular color in any given season. Otherwise when I get sick of that color or the fashions change, I feel bad about having so much of it and having to get rid of it. I admit I also checked out the Nordstrom sale because I got some bleach spots on my favorite knit moto jacket and wanted to replace it. They were sold out (I guess it was an older style) so I’m going to try to cover the spots with a marker, as I’ve heard this is a pretty good last-ditch effort.
       p.s. I am also obsessed with cobalt. My only unplanned purchase this summer was a lovely bright cobalt scarf which I have already worn a few times!
       Also: whoever suggested a lint/sweater shaver — you are my new hero! I bought one with some credit card rewards points and it has already saved me a ton of money on things I thought were worn out and was going to replace. My bathrobe and all my lovely smartwool socks look like new again. It has changed my life! Thank you!

     • Good point about not buying too many pieces in any given color, Sarah. A year ago, burgundy was my favorite color, but luckily I didn’t go overboard in buying pieces in that hue. I still like burgundy a lot, but I expect that my color preferences will evolve over time and it’s a good idea in general not to buy too many things in any given color or style. I went wrong with that in the past many, many times, especially in terms of silhouettes. Then when I got tired of something, I either had to keep wearing it or felt guilty to get rid of so many pieces that weren’t worn all that much.

       I hope you are able to rescue your moto jacket! It was Deby who suggested a sweater shaver in her “taking care of summer knits” guest post. I haven’t picked one up yet, but I plan to. I have a few knits that I plan on rescuing that way. I’m glad it worked out so well for you!

     • Ah yes, thanks Deby! I only spent about $20 on my lint shaver– maybe you could count it as one of your items for a month? Only if you think you’d get good use out of it of course… I run cold like you so my sweaters get a LOT of use, even in the summer 😉

     • I think I would get good use out of it. I even have a few dresses that have pills on them and could probably benefit from the lint shaver. I wear my jackets and sweaters a lot, too. People have often commented that I have too many toppers for someone living in Southern California, but I wear one almost every single day (the past few weeks notwithstanding – it’s been very hot here, but I know it’s not as bad as in most of the rest of the country!).

2. Hi!
   I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months now, but this is the first time I comment.
   I want to congratulate you for all the work you’ve done to arrive where you are now, it’s quite impressive.
   However, I realized that you often buy things in similar style. I know you realized that for your jewelry, but did you for your shoes? Watching the pictures, it seems to me that you have many flat sandals that look a lot alike. Maybe it’s because we don’t see the details on the photos, I don’t know.
   Anyway, I wish you good luck for August, I hope you’ll reach your goals, without being too hard on yourself!

   • Thanks for taking the time to comment, Gail. I appreciate your praise on my progress. As for my buying things that similar in style, that’s been a pattern of mine in multiple areas and one I hope to break. I actually only have a few pairs of flat sandals, though. The ones I bought during July were replacements for pairs that have left my closet (one returned and one purged). I have more sandals with heels than flats and some of those don’t work well for me because I either can’t walk well in them or they’re too dressy. I’m learning a lot as I go along, but it’s taking me a while to make up for some bad habits and break others!

3. Debbie, I think you did very well in July. To me, it seems that the true goal is thoughtful and successful wardrobe management. The item limit idea has never really resonated with me. It seems like it is far more important in the long run to create (through the RIGHT additions and subtractions) a wardrobe that meets all of your needs, feels like “you”, and makes you happy.

   • Thanks, Carter. I agree with you that the true goal is thoughtful and successful wardrobe management. My reason for the item limit was to stop my bad habit of buying too many lower quality, sale, and consignment pieces just because the price was low. I had a bad habit of going for quantity over quality, so my intent was to turn that around by limiting how many items I could buy. But I totally agree with what you wrote and that’s going to be my primary focus moving forward.

4. OMG Debbie, you actually found a non-see-through white 3/4 sleeve tee??? Please let me know the manufacturer/brand! I may actually break my shopping fast if I could get one – I’m tired of looking and I really do need one.

   • I am not one to want to enable anyone’s breaking a shopping fast, Kim, but I know how difficult it can be to find certain items! The tee was bought at Nordstrom and it’s by Caslon. However, it looks like the white is mostly sold out now. But I know they sometimes re-stock certain styles, so it’s worth looking again. Here’s the link: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/caslon-ruched-three-quarter-sleeve-v-neck-tee-regular-petite/3767090 As a point of reference, I bought the blue in a medium and the white in a small. The white definitely ran larger. If you look on the Nordstrom site, there are other styles of Caslon tees with 3/4 or long sleeves that come in white, but I can’t vouch for whether or not they are see-through. I previously ordered a short-sleeved version but had to return it because I could see my skin and bra through it!

     • I can vouch for Caslon’s quality. The abovementioned moto jacket that got attacked by bleach was by Caslon. I think they do great basics, but don’t feel like you need to break your fast because they have great items each season. I’m also going to order a top from Boden later this fall because I’ve heard they have good quality so I can let you know how the quality is later. I saw that they also had many white tops.

     • I agree that Caslon has good quality, at least most of the time. The grey and black striped moto I bought back in May is from that brand and so is the black moto I bought in July (that is too small – hope the larger size works out). I haven’t ordered anything from Boden but have thought about it many times. I have been concerned about the shipping and return fees and that’s what has stopped me, but I’ve heard good things about them. I also like that they carry talls and their styles are not too young but not matronly and frumpy, either. Sometimes it’s hard to strike that balance!

     • I can vouch for Boden quality. I got a neat jersey button up “crinkle” shirt in a black and taupe pattern that has extended my basics delightfully.

     • Thanks for chiming in, Amy. I may take the plunge later this year with Boden, as I keep hearing good things and like what I see on their website. Your crinkle shirt sounds nice and I can see how it would be a great wardrobe addition.

     • Caslon is one of the Nordstrom house brands, in which they design and contract the manufacture of in-house. They’re usually good buys for wardrobe staples.

5. I wanted to comment how great I am finding my clothing journal. I noticed, too, how much easier it was to part with an item that just didn’t work. I wear it, write that it was bad, come home, take it off and put it directly in the donate or pitch pile. No more hanging on to less than stellar stuff.

   The journal helped me identify a few holes. I bought two dresses online and they perfectly fit the bill. I bought a few other items online that have to go back – one a cardigan that the color won’t work with the rest of my wardrobe and the other was pants that are too casual for where I work. I have to return a jacket too that doesn’t go with my current items. I get discouraged by these returns but I am committed to only keeping items that fit my style and color palette. I am hopeful that I will make fewer color mistakes as I go.

   But overall, the clothing journal has been so awesome. I have even made a list of the outfits that I gave a 10 so I can remember them next summer! And so that I can identify common threads (pun intended) that typify my style. A big discovery for me is that I love close fitting dresses with colorful cardigans. Now, if I can just rein in my over shopping tendency and not buy too many!

   • I’m so glad you’re also benefitting from the clothing journal, Anne! My experience has been very similar to yours. I also love close-fitting dresses with colorful cardigans and am having to be careful not to overbuy something just because I’ve found that I like it. I was always of the view that if one was good, five was better. But then when we don’t like something anymore, we feel guilty because we have so many! I know what you mean about the returns! Even with how much I bought during July, there would have been quite a bit more if I didn’t return so much. Of course, I expected to return much of what was ordered online, but I shudder to think of what I would have done had it all worked out. There would have been some hard decisions there…

6. Well, I attempted to buy 2 things in July, even though I was trying to No Buy July – but they both are not staying, so I did it through default I guess lol. I didn’t like the feeling of not being able to shop, the restriction put on myself, but it did give me time to refocus some.
   I started this month quick out of the gate with half a dozen things ordered, but again, returns have me back down to 3 items. And after an afternoon in a ‘real mall’ this weekend I’m not feeling the pull for more. A funny thing happened. I shifted my focus away from acquiring items on my list and thought instead in outfit needs. So, instead of ‘white shorts’ I can think ‘fresh, light summer casual’ outfit. That may or may not necessitate white shorts. But the drive to hunt down just the right replacement pair for some Bermudas I’m purging at the end of this season is not paramount in my mind. I think I can safely say if the right pair present themselves, I’ll bite, but if not, I’m okay at least until next summer and maybe without them at all. I may have turned a corner. In the past, I’d get the best of what I could find on offer right now, likely off eBay and maybe non returnable to add to it LOL.
   Like you, I realized that I like to buy more seasonably than I used to. I also am going to plan for a bigger first month at the start of the season, and ease off the next month or two to balance it out. Going forward I’m thinking less rules and restrictions will make me shop more intuitively, and not so focused (or obsessed depending on how you look at it) on shopping, out of balance with its importance.

   • I struggle with shopping bans or time outs, too, Mo. Congrats on seeing it through, though, even if it was a bit by default there at the end. It seems like you learned something very powerful after your mall experience. I think we can focus too much on specific items rather than outfit needs. I know I’ve fallen into that trap too many times and I’m trying to get away from it, too. Like you, I’ve found that if I focus too much on buying an item I absolutely need to have, I can settle and then keep searching even after I already bought something. I agree about having fewer rules and restrictions. I think Carter is right in what she wrote in her comment. I think that I was just afraid to trust myself because of how much I’ve overshopped in the past, but despite my July experience, I HAVE turned a corner and I believe you have, too. I applaud you for the progress you’ve made!

7. I think you may have bought more than you would like, but you made good choices. What you picked seems like your style.
   I bought 9 items in July. A gold necklace and earrings, black and white beaded necklace, a black and a grey top from eBay that were mistakes, a grey and a blue dolman sleeve tops that I love, a black top, and a skirt. I spent $278.04. That brings me up to 42 items I believe.
   I would only have 2 more items for the year if I kept to my limit. I am going to do the best I can and want to keep to my budget and buy less items than last year. I also want to focus more on the full life.
   I hope you’re able to take all you’ve learned from the previous month and use it in a way that helps bring you all that you’re looking for.

   • Thanks for sharing your accountability here, Tonya. It seems like your July buys were mostly successful. It seems like our experiences and goals are similar. The full life part of the equation is really what will get us where we want to be, I believe. I don’t know about you, but I think I have a tendency to focus too much on clothes and shopping because that seems easier than putting my attention on other areas of my life. Of course, our wardrobes are important and I definitely feel better when I’m dressing true to myself, but I need to devote more time and attention to other facets of my life. That is more important to me than how many items I buy, especially in the long run. I wish you the best in finding what you’re looking for, too!

     • Yes I definitely do the same. Whether it is shopping, coming up with new “must have” items, or constant reorganization of my closet, I know my time would be better spent elsewhere. That is where the true happiness and peace of mind will come from.

     • The fact that we now realize this will serve us well and is probably half of the battle. For years, I really thought my clothes were the problem! I hope we both find true happiness and peace of mind soon. I wish that for all those who struggle with overshopping and who look for contentment at the mall or in an e-commerce store. That’s not where it lives!

8. I love what commenters above are saying about shopping seasonally. I can see how that would be really effective both in terms of building a workable wardrobe and in terms of breaking the spell of shopping. Some folks have commented in the past that giving yourself a monthly budget and/or item limit simply gives you permission to shop in order to “use up” your allowance. And if it’s a monthly item/$ budget, it gives you permission to shop more or less constantly. But a person who shopped seasonally could go for several months without thinking about shopping. Not suggesting that you have things set up “wrong” currently or that you need to change — just that the idea of a seasonal budget/plan gave me a bit of an a-ha moment.

   Just looking at your image at a glance, I can see that the items you’ve purchased really hang together stylistically/aesthetically and are in line with the style goals you’ve set out. I hope they prove very successful in practice!

   I think it’s interesting that your 39 garments + 12 pairs of shoes worn in July counts as “a lot of items” for you. My totals were 52 garments + 13 pairs of shoes and I’ve been interested to see that these numbers have been very similar for all 4 months that I’ve been tracking my wears. Also wore 27 of those 65 items multiple times — so again, it’s just fascinating to me how different habits of dressing can yield such different numbers! It just goes to show that there is no one-size-fits-all (har) solution to building a workable wardrobe, even though I think you and I are thinking about very similar principles (at least, my approach has certainly been influenced by your writings here).

   • I agree that shopping seasonally could really be the way to go, Sarah. The monthly item limit and budget HAS gotten me into the habit of shopping more or less constantly, like you said. I think I have had an emotional need to shop so frequently, too, but it hasn’t been serving me well. I’m very much leaning toward the seasonal approach next year.

     I think the number of items I wore was a lot because I spend so much time at home. I can see how those who have office jobs would wear more pieces. I didn’t wear as many items multiple times as you did. When it was cooler, I was wearing more “regular” clothes at home, but in the hotter weather I’ve been back to wearing lounge wear more at home. We don’t have air conditioning (other than a small portable one that is just marginal), so I’ve opted to only wear my standard clothes outside of the house in order to cut down on laundry and clothing care in this heat. Once it cools down, I’ll likely wear about the same number of pieces as you do. I don’t count my lounge wear in my “what I wore” totals.

     I’m glad you’ve found my posts helpful in building a workable wardrobe! I agree that there is no one-size-fits-all approach, as our lives are so different. But some of the principles are universal!

     • I buy a few items (shorts, for example) that are truly seasonal but try to buy items that are multi-seasonal — like the 3/4 sleeve white tee. I live in a 4-season climate but find with layering I can stretch a number of garments from summer to fall or fall to winter, etc. I don’t have the space (closet or otherwise) to store out-of-season clothes. (I also think it’s way too easy to lose track of clothes in bins or in the back of the closet — and this may lead to buying duplicates. I also would limit the amount of purchases I make in any one color (OK, I have a lot of black, but this is my “base” color — I mean an accent color like cobalt. But that’s just frugal me with a small wardrobe. However I think the black top with lace, new knit moto jacket, and the turquoise scarf are excellent items that should allow you to express the “edgier” style you are aiming for. Good job!!!

     • I keep everything in one closet, too, Dottie. I used to have so much stuff that it had to be in two (or three) closets and I definitely lost sight of some of what I had. I am trying to do better with wearing more pieces year-round. It isn’t as difficult here because we really only have two seasons (summer and spring/fall – no real winter here!), but it’s still a newer practice for me. Good point about limiting the number of pieces in any given color (I have a lot of black, too, as you know). I’m going to keep that in mind, as I do have a tendency to go overboard at times. Thanks for the praise on some of my new pieces. I agree that I am doing well at adding a bit of edge to my wardrobe.

     • I wonder if, by not strictly limiting your purchases, you aren’t getting as much bang for the buck. For example, I’d like to see how many different ways you can wear the lack top with lace (denim skirt, black skirt, cobalt skirt, jeans, etc.). But you also have several other new items that mitigate the need to experiment with just one top. After all, you have other new pieces to work into your wardrobe. For me what makes a clothing purchase “special” is that it has to work beautifully with a large number of clothes I already own. And I tend to buy only one item at a time, to give myself a chance to fall in love with it. But that’s just me with a dinky clothes budget and closet full of clothes I adore and that work exceptionally well together.

     • I agree that it might be better to buy fewer things at a time. Your point about taking the time to work a new item into a wardrobe is very valid. Yet I can also see the utility in the seasonal type of shopping that I mentioned in the post and which is being discussed here in the comments. I think that once one has a workable and cohesive wardrobe, even if she is doing seasonal shopping, she likely wouldn’t buy as many items as I did during July. I’ve seen the “French capsule wardrobe” being written about on other blogs and generally those women are bringing in 5 items max per season. It would be much easier to integrate that smaller number of pieces than the large amount I acquired last month. I really don’t intend to buy so many things in a given month again, though!

     • Dottie, you are so right, as usual. Since reading this blog I’ve instituted a rule that any new item has to go with several items already in my closet. This means that I have to focus right now on building a highly mixable basic wardrobe before adding any more statement pieces. I had my eye on this crazy silk bomber jacket with tiger stripes, which is way more wild than anything I currently wear. It’s not on the plan, though, because I can only think of one outfit to wear it with
       Sometimes I just want to come and steal your mixable wardrobe full of quality items 😉

     • But, here’s my main point, if you have a large wardrobe and still make a significant number of purchases each season, you will still have a large wardrobe. I know that you’ve worked really hard to reduce the number of clothing items, but I don’t see the one in-one out rule here (except for the sandals). And there still seems to be a number of items that leave your closet rather quickly because something is wrong with them (the scratchy moto jacket — did you check the fiber content label before buying?). You’ve seen the downside of consignment shopping — very risky. There’s often a reason why clothes end up in consignment — if they didn’t work for the original owner, and they not work for the next one either. I generally buy only a few items each year (not per season). Last summer I spent the most — replacing a swimsuit, a pair of sandals, black shorts and two tees. All of these were bought on sale (I had ID’d what I wanted and waited for the sale price) so my entire outlay was about $125 — half my annual budget. I spent the rest of my budget for the year on underwear and two replacement heavy cotton sweaters.

     • Sorry for butting in 😉 I get your point Dottie- and I am very hopeful that I will get to your level one day! It’s amazing to think that if I keep on this journey, one day I will have that smaller closet full of great things and very few needs.

       But, I made so many shopping mistakes before I started smarting up (and reading Debbie’s blog) that my closet was a wreak- it was full of things that were poor quality, fit poorly, and were not even flattering. So many that it needed a complete overhaul- particularly after having my daughter and my body changing. Add that to haphazard shopping (which I HAVE gotten better with, but over time), a shopping addiction, and trying to figure out my style and refining both my tastes and my understanding of proper fit, and you can imagine how easy it is to rack up quite a number of purchases. I feel like Debbie and I are often in a similar boat, which is why I relate to her so much! I also need to slow down on purchases now, but I feel like this year I’ve turned the corner and have made some real, tangible progress. I’m much much happier and feel like I understand fit and can identify quality much better than even 6 months ago.

       It’s harder for me to let go of items, so while I have made enormous progress in reducing my wardrobe size, it’s currently growing again because I have several items yet to let go of. Many, many of those items that I want to outright replace, I hold on to until I find the replacement and then have worn it enough to feel secure to let the old one go (even if it’s horrible- so weird right?), and several items I’m just working up the ability to let them and the guilt (and sometimes just because I have a memory associated with it, the emotion attached to it) go.

     • While I don’t do a strict 1-for-1 in and out, Dottie, I have let go of more items this year than I’ve brought in. I just did a count and it’s 45 in and 53 out. This includes my birthday items, as well as things I later returned (and thus are not included in my item limit). I basically just went back to all of my accountability reports and counted the number of items in the in and out photos (just the clothes and shoes, not jewelry and accessories, which I didn’t start counting until May anyway).

       While I definitely want to get to the point where I’m buying fewer items each year (and letting fewer items go), I don’t really have the desire to only buy 5 things or spend only $250 per year. We are all individual and have different needs and desires. I respect where you’re coming from and I know it works well for you, but I also know you have a lot of high quality pieces from yesteryear. I would imagine that given the quality of most of today’s clothes, most of us will need to replace more than 5 pieces per year. Even my husband – who is definitely not a shopaholic – replaces more pieces than that and he takes good care of his clothes (but many of them were purchased during the recent lower quality years).

       As for the moto jacket, yes I checked the fabric content, but I didn’t have any merino wool or acrylic items in my closet, so I had no way of knowing the fabric would irritate my skin. I feel fortunate that I discovered that before removing the tags and wearing the jacket outside my house. Otherwise, I probably would have had to settle for either always wearing the jacket with long sleeves underneath or consigning it at a loss.

       I am much like Meli in that I have a hard time letting go of some items. Sometimes I wait to make sure that the new items I purchased will meet my needs before I let go of old garments that are ho-hum but which I still wore. The guilt plays a role at times, too. I have a number of pieces that will probably go within the next few months. I feel like I am on target for meeting my wardrobe goals. It’s taking me longer than I had hoped, but I feel I’m making progress. I definitely like a lot more of what I own than I did in the past and I’m happier with more of my outfits, too. I believe that each year, I will purchase less than the prior year until I get to a basic replacement level of probably 10-20 items per year. Of course, that is just a guess and I will take it as it comes. I feel happy with how I’m progressing overall. Yes, I bought too much in July, but overall I feel I’m doing okay and moving along nicely with the process.

     • I’m going to butt in again as well… I think we all admire the place you are at Dottie, but it really does take time to get there. Even if that is the end goal, you have to spend some time and money up front in getting the *right* pieces. We are all still making purchasing mistakes- sometimes you don’t really know if a piece is going to suit you until you wear it a few times. For example, even when you read the fiber content, there are still different grades of a particular fiber (I’m looking at you, wool!) so while you might be able to wear the more expensive, refined version, the lower quality versions might irritate. Either way, I think it’s a skill that takes practice and I think everyone here is doing a great job improving and sharing new tips and skills.
       I think we all mean well around here but there can be tension and defensiveness when two different lifestyles are being compared or when unsoliticed advice is given, like in Debbie’s outfit post comments (sorry if I was an offender!). Debbie has mentioned that she is sensitive and I could relate to that as well. I think it’s very brave to put all her mistakes out in the open, using her real name, so we can all learn from them. A great tool when giving advice is to use the “sandwich” method- start with a compliment, present any constructive criticism, and end again on a complimentary note.
       Anyway, I definitely aspire to be in a place where I only have to replace a few items per year, like you!

     • Very good points, Sarah. Thank you (and Meli) for “butting in.” I definitely think all of the regular commenters here mean well (and most of the occasional ones, too) and are trying to help me and others, but you’re right that we have different lifestyles and goals. I don’t remember if you were one of the “offenders” in regards to my outfit post, but I appreciate your apology nonetheless. I really do believe everyone was trying to help, but it can be easy to misinterpret comments, especially when it is in writing instead of in person. I love the “sandwich” method and used it myself in a recent post. I think many of us hope to be in a similar position to Dottie one day, where we love our wardrobes, they work well for us, and we don’t have to shop nearly as much. But you’re right that it takes time and there are often lots of ups and downs. I’m happy that my sharing my journey can help to “normalize” what many of you are going through. That is one of my hopes, that other shopaholics will feel less alone and less flawed.

     • Of course I don’t expect any one to limit their purchases to $250 a year. I am trying to say that by slowing down the rate of purchases someone might actually have a chance to explore the versatility of each garment and make it “special” in the one’s wardrobe. You are right, it’s easy to misinterpret comments, Debbie, even yours.

     • Your point about slowing down purchasing and taking time to “play” with the new items was a good one, Dottie. I like that idea, but I also like the idea of shopping seasonally. Of course, when my wardrobe is in better shape overall, even the seasonal shopping won’t amount to a lot of items, so it will probably be easier to combine both tips and make them work in my life.

     • Oh goodness, my comment touched off a discussion! (I often come back to your posts a few days later to read the comments section, they are that good. 🙂 ) I definitely did not mean to encourage you to beat yourself up for buying “too much” during July. I think the more interesting question is whether thinking about your July purchases as essentially an experiment in “seasonal shopping” pans out going forward. You mention in a couple of comments below that you want to spend less time shopping and more time enjoying what you have, and also that you’ve lost the drive to shop this month. (Similarly, I’ve noticed that there have been a couple months this year when I’ve bought a relatively large number of items — and then nothing for the month or two afterwards, without actually trying not to shop.) If you do make a conscious (or even unconscious!) effort to use and remix these new items that you’ve purchased, I think that would make a really interesting post.

     • I love that your comment got some good discussion going, Sarah. That’s really what the comments section is for! I didn’t feel that your comment encouraged me to beat myself up. Rather, it really made me think if shopping seasonally might be the best approach for me. I really think it could be, but I would need to be able to exercise good self-control during the other months and either buy nothing or very little then. I’d like to move in that direction for sure. I like the future post idea about using and remixing my new pieces. I will keep that in mind. I’m going to do a purchase analysis post soon and your idea would make for a good follow-up to that.

9. I really like your blog and appreciate how honest you are! I find your insights so helpful, even though I’m not really a compulsive shopper, but more of a compulsive purger, especially when I am stressed. Then I shop because I really need something after I’ve overly downsized. But I can relate to your comment that all of this is sucking time and emotional energy away from things that are more important to me. Of course, then I beat myself up for that … Crazy, I know. Anyway, thanks for putting yourself out there: I’m sure there are lots of readers like me who always learn something good from your posts!

   • I really appreciate your kind words, Murphy. I’m glad that my posts still resonate with you even though you are more of a compulsive purger than a compulsive shopper. It seems the underlying issues are much the same, just like they are for overeaters and undereaters (I’ve been both). About the time sink, I’m now seeing that as much more of a problem than I used to. I just don’t want to spend so much of my life shopping and managing my clothes anymore!

10. Debbie, you’re being much more intentional with your shopping, and reevaluating the limits you set for yourself in order to find a way that works for you. That sounds like great progress to me!
    I mentioned before that I was on a shopping hiatus for July, with the exception of one elusive item that I found. It has been quite educational wearing the same clothes over and over. I found that three of the summer tops I purchased this year are too big. I know I have a tendency to buy things that are too big, but I need to be even more careful about this. Last week I repurchased one of the tops in the correct size, and replaced one with something in a similar colour and style that fits much better (I don’t like the third one enough to replace it). I’m quite annoyed with myself about these mistakes, but am putting it down to a learning experience.
    I also made one other purchase in July. It was on holiday. I commented on a shop we were walking past, and my husband suggested I have a look. I could have just said “no”, especially as we have the same shop in our city, but it was like I was being given permission to shop… I do like what I purchased, but am also disappointed in myself for not being able to end the month without making just the one purchase.
    Even though my shopping hiatus wasn’t 100% successful, it has still given me much food for thought. I was able to see problems with my choices for my summer wardrobe, which I will make note of for reference next year. Also, as I spent much less on clothes than I normally would have, it was nice to have the extra cash for other things and not have to worry about next month’s credit card bill. For the most part I didn’t have much desire to shop, and enjoyed being free from shopping, so to speak, which was interesting. Perhaps I should give more thought to seasonal shopping, as others have mentioned.

    • It seems like you are doing well, Kayla, both in terms of your behavior and your realizations. The awareness you’re gaining – about buying things that are too big and having a hard time saying no to shopping – will definitely help you moving forward. Even our “mistakes” can have great value, as long as we learn from them. That’s really the approach I’m trying to take now, especially since I am often so hard on myself. Yes, I shopped too much in July, but there are some silver linings in there for me to glean. I think seasonal shopping could really be the way to go and I’m giving it serious consideration. That’s basically what I did in July, but my hope would be that I buy more things only twice per year and then only sporadically shop in between. Seems like that might be difficult for me to do, but I think it would likely be a better way to go.

11. I really enjoyed your Real Simple article. It was the first time I was able to read it even though I know you had talked about it before (I’m keeping that information clutter down in my home by not subscribing to magazines – with the exception of Coastal Living). Anyway, your article really struck a chord with me (like most things you write) and I find it interesting we had the same reaction to the shopaholic movie.

    The other part of the article that stuck with me, and frankly surprised me, was your comments about feeling chatty and extroverted after or during shopping. I never realized it, but I’m guilty of the same behavior. This all made me realize I really need to get more serious about this and get it under control. It’s just so hard. I think I have a very strong compulsion… Sometimes I buy something new every day (I know logically that that’s crazy) but it happens. How did you initially put a brake on your shopping? (Mine is online mostly, I rarely go to the mall).

    This realization is making me feel very guilty because I have been battling this for awhile now, and yet I feel as if I’m back at “step 1” again…

    • I’m glad you liked the article, Chelsea! I should probably re-read it myself… Yes, I definitely get more chatty when I shop, but that’s happening less now that I’m not really going into an “altered state” when I’m in the stores. I kind of miss the burst of extroversion, though, as I am really much more of an introvert. But I don’t want to go back to the way things were, that’s for sure!

      In terms of how I put the brakes on my shopping, I think starting the blog and having accountability helped a lot, as did some of the initial rules I set up for myself. I set the bar a bit too high at first, though, in that I was trying to only buy one item of clothing and one accessory per month. That only lasted three months and then instead of setting new rules, I just let myself buy whatever I wanted as long as I stayed within my budget. In hindsight, I probably should have set more parameters around it. One practice that has been helpful (which I didn’t start right away) was to journal (in my case, on the blog) about WHY I purchased particular items, as well as why I let things go. This has helped to increase my awareness and has led to smarter shopping (but it has taken a while). I think another helpful practice (which I’ve done sporadically) is to journal about WHY I shopped (either 0nline or in a store) – what was I feeling right before I did it? I’ve found that I’ve often been trying to avoid either doing something I didn’t want to do or thinking about something I didn’t want to think about. Reasons will vary by person, but I found that the reason was not usually a pressing need for a particular type of item in my wardrobe.

      Project 333 helped me a lot, too, as it got me to realize that I didn’t need so many clothes and I also saw that many of my garments were lacking in quality. I learned that very few of the pieces I owned were “8”s or higher and it kind of scared me straight to not buy so much. Of course, I had some setbacks and had to recalibrate, which is why I did Project 333 again this year. Doing some of the exercises in “To Buy or Not to Buy” but April Benson was also helpful. I didn’t do all of them, though, but I will likely revisit that book again very soon and share on the blog.

      Try not to feel guilty, as it doesn’t really help anything. I know that’s easier said than done, but the guilt often led me to shop MORE. Try to take things one day at a time and take “baby steps” in the right direction. Perhaps set the target of going one day without online shopping, then try two days, etc. Find some other activities you like to do that will serve a similar need. If it’s to escape, what else could you do? Watch a movie? Read a novel? Play a game? Call a friend? Take a walk? Those are just a few of the things I might do to get the type of “down time” or escape that shopping gives me. I hope these suggestions and insights are helpful. Just keep trying and forgive yourself when you falter. Recovery usually includes lots of ups and downs, as you’ve seen with me. But over time, growth and progress DOES happen!

12. I first wanted to comment on items you are thinking do donating to homeless shelters. Please make sure to only donate in-season items, because most shelters get so many donations and don’t have the room to store things.

    I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good gut feeling as for whether or not clothing will work for me as soon as I bring it home; if there is any hesitation about something it really should go back to the store. Your gray maxi above made me think of this because I would have sent it away long ago. The longer I debate with myself the more likely I am to just keep whatever it is, and then regret that decision later.

    Cobalt is such a lovely color. And it really works on most every complexion! That birthday scarf with cobalt in it is so pretty!!

    • Thanks for the point you made about the donations, Sara. I didn’t think about that, but it’s a very good thing to remember! I also appreciate what you wrote about the gut feeling about whether or not things will work. I am going to return the grey maxi and the too-small black moto when I’m out and about tomorrow. I’m going to look over everything else, too, to make sure I really want to keep it. The Nordstrom items can be returned later, but some stores have much more limited return policies. Even so, I’d prefer to not hang on to things that are on the fence, as they is that tendency that you mentioned. I’ve fallen prey to that too many times!

13. I was so looking forward to this post Debbie! I love your accountability posts, and the time and effort you put into them (particularly with detail and explanations)! I think you did a good job shopping for things on your list, and while you may have gotten a lot of things, you are doing well overall which is the most important part. You’re purging more than or at least 1-1 with what you’re bringing in, and you’re being conscientious about what you are bringing home! I understand how much it takes to get a neglected wardrobe in shape- I’m doing it myself. I also underestimated my needs and was overly optimistic about my ability to settle or make do with what I have.

    July wasn’t too bad for me, a total of 4 items, and June was good with just 1. August is going to get me in trouble though. I’m already at 9 (and have more things on the way)! All 9 were on my list though, and several of them are replacement items. I ordered MUCH more than what I am keeping (maybe 1/4)- I talked a little about that in a comment in a previous post of yours. I used shopping to distract me from stressing over serious troubles. Not something I ever wish to do again. I think I spent $1500 without even bothering to worry or keep track… not something I am proud of or really want to admit.

    I’m not enjoying shopping now like I used to, which is probably a good thing. It’s much harder and less enjoyable when you have a list, and have to be so careful about what you keep! I’m getting better at identifying things I can let go of and what would bring me more versatility, which is good news. Overall, save some of the items on my list I actually really need, I’m really getting tired of it all. I can’t find what I want, it’s exhausting, and I’m inclined to do without at the moment rather than waste any more energy on it than I already have. I’ll probably bounce back, but I feel like I’m having some clarity about this and how much I waste yearning for the next thing instead of appreciating what I already have. Hopefully I don’t lose track of THAT too quickly. I’m just yearning for peace and balance and sanity.

    • I’m glad you like all the details, Meli. Especially with this post, I worried it might have been over the top. Good job on your shopping for June and July! I can totally understand why you’re shopping more in August given what you shared in the other comment. Stress motivated a lot of my July shopping and even though I am happy with most of what I bought, I’m not happy with how much it was! Like you, I don’t enjoy shopping as much anymore. Now that I’m being more conscious about it, it doesn’t provide the type of escape it used to. I am getting tired of it all, too, especially all of the time and energy I’ve been putting into it! You are so right that we need to focus more on enjoying what we already have.

14. My June/July were completely without shopping because I was traveling (and had to help my daughter bring her own suitcases back from a year abroad). Truly, it was a relief not to think about it. Both my daughter and I were horrified by the quantities in our closets when we returned. We find ourselves reluctant to start shopping again. (This will pass, of course)

    You have beautiful things. Why not take a little break and enjoy wearing them–and getting your “cost per wear”?

    • Good suggestion, Frugalscholar. I do want to focus more on wearing what I have. I have already lost the drive to shop that I had last month and I’ve very grateful for it. I ordered a few things online early in the month, but I’ve mostly been staying away from shopping over the past week or so. I can see how it would be a relief to have a smaller wardrobe while traveling. I always feel that way, too, especially if I packed effectively. Then I see the full closet again and find it a bit draining and overwhelming. Hopefully, I will continue to move toward less over time.

15. I have to say how inspiring I find your posts – your self-discipline in doing all of this recording and accounting is really admirable. I find myself wanting to have a photographic record of my purchases too, as well as planned outfits, and to do some purging. It seems to me that wardrobe acquisition and management is a real, definable skill that has not received sufficient attention and is not customarily taught to children, at least in the U.S. (This may just be my own experience, as my mother has zero interest in clothing.) Anyway, thanks for your post, which, as usual, is packed with useful information.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Terry. The recording and accounting I’ve done has been very helpful, as it’s opened my eyes to what’s really going on. I agree that wardrobe acquisition and management is not given enough attention in our society and isn’t taught to children by many parents. I also had a mother who wasn’t interested in clothing. She is more so now, but it has mostly been through my influence. Many of us are having to learn all of this the hard way!

16. I like the way the colours are developing in your choices of what to wear – and your new purchases will really add to the scheme. The scarves and cardigans are especially pretty. So I think they seem like sensible choices, even if you bought more than you intended, as you are progressing towards a cohesive personal style.

    • Thanks, Alice. I’m glad that my wardrobe is looking more cohesive, as I’ve been really working on honing my personal style. It’s nice to see that my efforts are paying off!

17. I like where you’re going with your wardrobe. I think you are learning a lot about yourself during this process. The pieces you are buying look more elegant than what you had previously and the color story is definitely cohesive and, I’ll bet, very flattering on you.

    May I respectfully suggest that this next month you try an experiment and spend your entire $200 on one great item. In fact, even better if you can find a $400 item on sale for $200 (take a look at the Halsbrook web-site–there are some gorgeous things on sale there right now). I suspect that you will fall in love with clothes that are of a better overall quality and feel more satisfied with them as a result. Expensive clothes tend to fit and drape better and are often simply more flattering.

    Lastly, please don’t beat yourself up about “your shortcomings”. We are all learning together. We get strong by falling down and getting back up.

    • I’m glad that my new pieces look more elegant and that my color story is more cohesive, Happy Forgiver. I am proud of the progress I am making and very happy to be making fewer buying mistakes. I like the idea of spending $200 on one item. I’m not sure about this month, as I have already ordered a few things online, but if those don’t work out, I can challenge myself to buy one really nice item. I’m not familiar with Halsbrook, but I will check them out. I do have some higher quality pieces and I feel very good when I wear them. The other day, I wore an outfit that I really loved and when I broke it down (in my outfit journal), I realized that it was comprised of higher-end items. It definitely made a difference.

18. Hi Debbie, I have been reading your blog for about two months and agree with others that you are very inspiring! Thank you for sharing — warts and all 🙂 Like you, I am trying to approach shopping though with a “quality vs. quantity” approach while also keeping an eye on cost per wear. I spent quite a bit at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, but anything that didn’t make me feel great went back and what was left were items that will be worn most days (I’m a SAHM) and will look very stylish. My splurge last month was a pair of very expensive black boots at the sale, but they’re very classic and the brand has a reputation of lasting 5-10 years so they were worth the money. You are teaching me to be more mindful about my wardrobe, and I so appreciate it. One question for you — what do you think of personal shoppers?? I have been approached a few times by the the personal shopper “organizer” (for lack of a better word) at Nordstrom to set up an appointment. One would hope that after getting to know my tastes, she could help me fill in the missing pieces. But I could also end up spending more. What do you think? Thanks, and I’m looking forward to future posts!

    • Welcome, Katherine, and thanks for your comment. I’m glad you find my posts inspiring – warts and all 🙂 Congrats on your success with the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. It sounds like the boots you bought were a good choice and will serve you well. One of these years, I may purchase such boots, too, as I keep hearing good things.

      I have mixed feelings about the Nordstrom personal shoppers. The problem is that they are basically salespeople and work on commission, so they might steer you toward higher-priced items. Even if they are very ethical and keep your needs and budget in mind, they still can only help you shop at that one store. On the other hand, if you work with an independent personal shopper (sometimes called a wardrobe stylist or image consultant), they can help you shop everywhere. Of course, you have to pay those people for their time, but they can often end up saving you money in the long run, as they can help you avoid shopping mistakes. It’s definitely worth doing at least once, especially if you find that you keep buying things and continue to feel like you have “nothing to wear.” One thing I’ve noticed in my area is that some of the malls now have personal shoppers whose services are free. I’m sure they still work on commission, but at least they can go with you to all of the stores in the mall to help you find what you really need. That could be the way to go if you don’t want to hire an independent shopper to help you.

      If you do end up using the Nordstrom personal shopper, be careful and be sure to have a list and stick to that list, as they will probably try to suggest other pieces that you may not need. If you go this route – or any of the other suggestions I’ve made – please let us know how it goes, as I’m sure others have been considering such services, too. If anyone else is reading this and has worked with any type of personal shopper – store, mall, or independent – please share your experiences here!

      • Although I’ve never been employed as a personal shopper, I have given targeted help to two friends who were having trouble with shopping after big personal changes. They graciously let me learn right along with them and we all became savvier shoppers.

        One was a friend who grew up in a working class household and learned to stretch every penny. She has become a hotshot, globetrotting lawyer and was pulled between the urge to get a deal on everything and to look right for work in a conservative, upscale workplace. Another was a friend who had not been shopping in years. At all. She had a lot of old items that were random, ill-fitting, plus a few buried treasures.

        The first thing was to inventory everything that was being kept. Everything. The inventory list was always with us. Then we listed all the activities that they engaged in routinely–one did lots of traveling; the other was increasing her exercise routine. Finally, we did some experimenting to find stores that reliably stocked the styles of clothing that they liked and that tended to fit their bodies well.

        Then we went shopping. Initially, because both women were essentially rebuilding their wardrobes (from student to professional; from no shopping to at least some shopping), the outlay *was* considerable. One needed several suits for court, for example. For her, we bought from one designer, Anne Klein, and picked up one suit with two different pair of trousers and a second skirted suit, the pieces of which could all be mixed and matched with the other separates. These coordinated with simple tops she already had and liked. We added a couple of tops that combined the key colors in her new suits to stretch her ability to mix and match them. The other woman discovered the joys of working out in “technical” gear that really suited her more demanding workouts. That was how she spent her time; that was now where she spent her money. She’d been working out in old, tattered shorts and sweats; the new items lifted her spirits and supported the new life she was living.

        Something to emphasize here is that both women hated to shop for clothes. Also, while certainly not rich, both had sufficient funds to cover their needs and a few wants. We did not shop above their price points; neither did we waste time starting the shopping by hunting bargains. The little luxuries and the bargains were something to do after all the bases had been covered in “their” stores.

        Anyway, both women ended up happy with the results of items that they picked out, that were within their price ranges, and met their goals. And the goals were THEIRS, NOT mine. I just enjoyed going along for the ride!

        Once these women had revamped key pieces that were more in keeping with their actual lives (which was strangely the hardest part for them to acknowledge), they loved it. They wore those clothes out and now shop on their own for replacement items when their favorites wear out.

        These are just a few tips from a decidedly nonprofessional who helped a couple of friends out. Do the wardrobe weeding and list of life activities before walking into a store. Find one or two stores that suit your body, your range of activities, and your budget. [Target is one that has worked for me!] And make sure the salesperson takes your desires to heart and doesn’t try to pressure you into buying more or differently that what you need. When you find that person, hang onto her! 😉

        Sorry so long, Amy

      • Thanks for sharing that Amy! (I’m glad it was long). What an interesting glance into the process.

      • I loved reading this process, too, Amy, and was also glad that it was long so we could get all of the details. It seems like you approached the process with your friends in a very practical and effective way. They were very lucky to have you! I have done the same thing for several friends and family members – and even did it professionally for about two years. I was MUCH better at helping others with their wardrobes and shopping than at managing my own! Emotions often get in the way when it’s our own wardrobes, but we can be ultra-logical with other people.

        I think that perhaps friends could really help each other in this respect, but it would probably work better to focus on one person at a time, as opposed to when friends shop with each other and are both looking to buy things. When I shop with friends, I often make more shopping mistakes, mostly because I worry about taking too long to make up my mind. But if the focus is all on one person and her needs during a given shopping trip, I can see how it could work well, especially if the people involved don’t have the money to hire a professional (and are understandably wary about store-sponsored personal shoppers).

        I appreciate your taking the time to share your story here, Amy. Lots of food for thought for others!

      • Thanks, Debbie and Sarah!

        I wrote about both friends in the same entry–but in fact they didn’t know each other. The time was spent focusing on one person and her needs.

    • Thanks, Amy! I so appreciate your reply and didn’t mind the length! You have given me some great pointers, and are right on with the premise that a personal shopper should be someone who shops with you at many stores (that was one thing that kept me from using a Nordstrom personal shopper). I do wish more of my friends enjoyed shopping the way that I do. I used to go with my mom quite often but now that she’s 84 she’s slowed down quite a lot and doesn’t want to go shopping (her main complaints being that stores are too big, too crowded, and the racks are too stuffed!) It’s a shame: she’s very stylish and I could definitely count on her telling me the truth about what I tried on 🙂

19. Hi Debbie, I have been reading your blog for some months now and I am a shopaholic trying to be a recovering one! You have been a fantastic inspiration and very helpful to me. I have made a lot of progress this year. I have bought much less and about half of what I normally spend. I am in the process of paring down my wardrobe at a slow pace and adopting the one item in, two items out rule. I feel you are are making good progress as well and please don’t be hard on yourself for any slip ups. I don’t think I would have been successful without your help.

    • Welcome, Sharon! I’m so happy you took the time to let me know that my blog has been helpful to you. It sounds like you are doing very well with your recovery! I’m glad I have played a role in your turning things around, shopping smarter, and paring down your wardrobe. I appreciate your kind words and I am trying to be less hard on myself. I know we all have our ups and downs. Most people don’t share them so publicly, but I’m happy that my journey is beneficial to others who struggle.

20. What has helped me make better purchases is to immediately wear my new items instead of waiting for the proper weather or right occasion to wear them. Unless it is something I really love for the upcoming season, I’ve stopped buying for seasons to come but rather only for the current season. I use to buy things ahead of time but made so many impulse purchases that ended up being donated that I had to stop and rethink my strategy. I bought more expensive pieces for the quality over quantity thing but it didn’t help me buy less, I just spent more money. I also purged frequently but then I got stuck in the purge/binge cycle. The power pause method has saved me a few times, especially for online purchases but I don’t have enough self control to do that for in store purchases. What made me finally realize why my various methods have not led me to make wiser purchases was because I rarely wore what I bought immediately. I would always wait for the right occasion or weather to wear it. Then they just sit in my closet, I would forget about them and I go out and buy more. Ever since I started wearing what I bought right away, I automatically purchased less without thinking about it. Sounds so obvious but it was a revelation for me! I’ve bought considerably less the past few months since I started to do this. I no longer bother saving my new purchases for a fancier occasion. I wear my new dress to get groceries, to pick my kids up from school. This way, I know very soon whether I truly love what
    I bought or whether it should go back to the store.

    • This is an excellent tip, Wendy! My experience has been much like yours. Buying higher quality pieces doesn’t necessarily help me to buy less or wear what I have more. The real key is to buy things we love and will wear! If something doesn’t suit my lifestyle, I won’t wear it. But what you mention about wearing the “nicer” things for everyday occasions is spot on. I have been pushing myself to do that for many of my dresses and I find that I feel really good and happy when wearing them, even if it’s just to run errands. Of course, it helps if I dress them down by wearing casual sandals and accessories, but no need to wait until something “special” comes around to wear the clothes we love! Now I just need to apply this to EVERYTHING in my closet…

21. I find going through why something should enter AND go from a wardrobe is a great way to prevent future mistakes. Sooner or later it is all going to click right? 🙂 It is so very easy to overshop with NAS, despite the best pre-planning. I purchased more than I planned, but I’m very happy with my purchases. And unlike past years, I do feel like I made better decisions. Baby steps I guess. Happy Belated Birthday and congrats on your new items.

    • Thanks for the birthday wishes, Lisa! Hard to believe I’m 48… I usually feel much younger, which is a good thing! I agree things will eventually click if we keep writing about why we add and subtract various pieces from our closets. I definitely can see my progress from even earlier this year, so that’s a good thing. It may take me a while longer to get to where I want to be, but as long as I see improvement, I am willing to stay the course and keep forging ahead one day at a time.

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