Many women (and a lot of men…) have too many clothes in their closets. Even those who don’t struggle with overshopping generally have more garments, shoes, and accessories than they know what to do with, as they continue bringing new things in without moving old things out.
How do you decide what stays and what goes in your closet?
Having More Choices Isn’t Better or Easier
We often hang on to our clothes because we believe more choices will help us to dress better, but that’s simply not the case. Too many clothes leads to too many choices, and the resulting overwhelming has us reaching for the same 20-30% of our pieces over and over again.
Paradoxically, a smaller wardrobe is more conducive to the mixing and matching and sartorial experimentation that can refresh our style and eliminate the closet doldrums. When I did Project 333 earlier this year, I was far more creative with what I wore and liked a higher percentage of my outfits than usual.
From Too Many Clothes to Walking the Talk
As many of my readers know, I still have far too many clothes for my casual, work from home lifestyle. As a result, I don’t fully utilize what I own and am in danger of ending 2013 with a fair number of what I term “wardrobe benchwarmers.” Since I know that many of you are in a similar boat, I decided to devote today’s post to offering some tips for dealing with the “keep or purge” question.
After my realization last week that I may finish this year with 50 or more benchwarmers (a third of last year’s total but still far from ideal!), I decided to take a firmer hand with my closet audit process. I realized that I haven’t been taking all of the advice I’ve shared here on the blog and used to offer to my wardrobe styling clients. As I definitely want to stand in my integrity and “walk the talk,” I need to turn things around starting now!
Five Powerful Questions to Help You Decide
Below I share some of my best tips and provide examples for how I applied them in my own closet during the past week. Each tip is phrased in the form of a powerful question you can ask yourself as you contemplate the fate of various pieces in your closet. You can ask just one question or all five of them, whatever it takes for you to make an empowered decision!
Question #1 – Do I Love It?
I’ve written before about using a scale of 1 to 10 for evaluating wardrobe pieces. While it’s not realistic to expect all of our clothes to be “10”s, we need to set relatively high standards for what gets to stay in our closets, especially when we’re trying to pare down an overly crowded wardrobe. I generally recommend that we should aim for all “8”s or higher when determining which pieces to keep.
So my first question is “Do I love it?” While looking at the item you’re considering letting go, ask yourself that question. Answer quickly, as pausing will allow guilt to creep in and override what you know to be true. Go with your gut response. You’ll generally know whether or not you consider something to be an “8” or higher.
Question #2 – Do I Feel Good Wearing It?
We won’t always know by looking at something on a hanger whether it’s an “8” or higher. In many cases, we’ll need to try things on in order to really evaluate them. That’s where the second question comes in, “Do I feel good while wearing it?”
Lots of pieces have “hanger appeal”; that is, they look fabulous on the hanger but perhaps not as great on our bodies. On the other hand, we may have garments that actually look great on us but don’t feel all that wonderful. The fabric may be itchy, the garment may be fussy, or it just might not resonate with our current sense of style.
Try the Item On & Don’t Ruminate Too Long!
It’s best to answer this question while a garment is actually on your body. Try it on, look in the mirror, and ask yourself the question. Also, check in with yourself about how you’d rate the item on a scale of 1 to 10. Don’t ruminate too long with your answer. Use the “first impression test” that reader Deby mentioned in one of her comments. Give yourself just 30 seconds to evaluate the item. Don’t worry… It’s enough time!
Ideally, we’re looking for “8”s or above, but there are a few rare exceptions to that rule. Sometimes a “6” or “7” can stay if the item is a wardrobe staple that you’ll need to wear until a replacement is found (as is the case with some of my pants). However, if you’re not wearing it anyway, why do you need to keep it around? Simply add what you need to your shopping list and let the current piece that’s gathering dust inside your closet go!
Style Preferences Change
A few of my tops used to be “8”s or above but aren’t anymore. Our style preferences change, so what we used to love may no longer strike our fancy. Sometimes garments shrink or don’t wash well, or we may have had weight fluctuations that have affected the fit of certain pieces. A color we may have loved in the past may no longer be among our favorites. All of these things are okay and valid reasons for letting closet pieces go!
Here are a few tops and one pair of jeans I decided to let go because I just don’t feel good wearing them. The tops are either no longer my style or just don’t feel fab anymore. The jeans fit me okay but I always feel like my “bum” looks large in them. While that may not actually be the case, I don’t like the way I feel when I wear them, so out they go!
I no longer love these items, so out they go!
Question #3 – Does It Fit My Lifestyle?
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, sometimes we buy things for an imagined or wished for lifestyle or for “just in case” scenarios. These types of pieces often become “wardrobe benchwarmers,” as they just don’t work for our real lives. While it’s not necessarily a bad idea to have a few “just in case” garments, such as an interview suit or a cocktail dress, many of us have half of our closets filled with such items! These pieces just take up valuable closet real estate and add to our feelings of wardrobe overwhelm.
So it’s a good idea to ask ourselves if an item in question is a good fit for our current lifestyle. If the answer is no, perhaps the next best step is to add that item to our donation bag. If it was an expensive piece that is still in good condition, selling it on consignment or via eBay is also an option, especially if you feel guilty for having spent money on something you rarely or never use.
I consigned most of my more formal garments and shoes earlier this year, but a few pieces remain. As I looked at a charcoal blazer I’d had in my closet for over a year and never worn, I realized it’s time for it to go. I will take it to my local consignment store to try to recoup some of my investment, but even if they don’t take it, I’ll be happy to have this item out of my closet.
Question #4 – Would I Buy It Today?
Even the savviest shoppers make buying mistakes from time to time. We all buy things that seemed like a good idea at the time yet have languished in our closets for months or even years. As you look at the things you rarely or never wear, ask yourself if you’d buy those same items today. In most cases, the answer will be no.
Keeping things because you spent money on them won’t bring your lost dollars back. You’ll either force yourself to wear things you don’t really like or feel guilty when you see them hanging in your closet. In either case, you won’t feel happy keeping your ill-advised purchases around.
I’d Leave Many “Wardrobe Benchwarmers” In the Store!
Many of my wardrobe benchwarmers are pieces I wouldn’t buy if I saw them in a store today. In some cases, I bought them simply because they were on sale or a “good deal.” Of course, it’s not a good deal if you never wear it! In other instances, I bought garments because I loved the color or pattern, or because the designer or brand was one of my favorites. I didn’t consider that the garment as a whole didn’t work for me; my decision to buy was based on only part of the equation.
Here are a few examples of garments I wouldn’t buy today:
I would not buy these items if I were shopping today!
I bought the zipper tee because I thought it looked cool and edgy, but in actuality, the top was incredibly fussy to wear. The zipper never stayed straight and the hem always seemed to look uneven. I loved everything about the zebra-print tank except that it was brown instead of black. I bought it anyway because it was on sale (you know the story…) and I only ended up wearing it a few times because I just don’t like brown all that much. I bought the striped cardigan because I’m basically a “stripaholic” and the price was right (seeing a pattern here?), but the material was thin and I already have a black and white striped knit blazer. Fortunately, the cardigan had never been worn and still had the tag attached, so I returned it for a refund last weekend.
Question #5 – Would I Reach For It Over Other Similar Pieces?
The credit for this last question goes to Bridgette Raes, who included it in her comment on my “Wardrobe Benchwarmers Past and Future” post. She suggested that when I’m doing a closet purge, I ask myself:
Under what circumstance am I going to choose to wear this item over something else that I love more in my wardrobe?”
This question was new to me, but it proved to be extremely helpful as I endeavored to pare down my wardrobe further over the weekend. Posing this question was what pushed me to purge a number of garments that “passed” some of the other questions and might have stayed in my closet otherwise.
Two Personal Examples of “Lesser” Alternatives
As one example, I had two floral print sleeveless tops. I like one of these tops a lot and always reach for it over the second alternative, even though there isn’t really anything wrong with the other top. The same is true for the black coat I just added to my consign/donate pile. Whenever it’s cold enough for a coat, I always reach for one of the other coats in my closet. The black coat is more of a boxy style and I prefer my more tailored options. Bridgette’s question helped me to realize that it’s time to let go of the black coat and pass it on to someone else who will love and wear it.
I purged these items because I have better alternatives available!
I’m going to continue to use Bridgette’s question in the coming weeks and hopefully it will help me to reach my goal of ending the year with no wardrobe benchwarmers. Since I have a full closet and love many of the pieces I own, why should I waste my time with the things I don’t like as much? It’s far better to wear the items we love to death than to push ourselves to put on “less than” garments just because they’re in our closets. Why not get them out of our closets so we can focus on what we do love instead?
What Tips Can You Add?
I hope you’ll find the tips above helpful in managing your wardrobe. While I have other tips I could add (check out my “Recovery Tips” page for more suggestions), I tried to keep things simple by just including a few powerful questions to use when paring down your closet. As I continue to cull my wardrobe and work toward my goal of a smaller and more manageable wardrobe, I’m sure I’ll have more to add. I’ll also keep you updated on my progress in future posts!
If you have any additional powerful questions or closet purging tips to add, please feel free to share them in the comments section of this post. There are many ways to approach this process and different things will work for different people, so the more tips the better!
Recovering Shopaholic 
I did a major purge this year when I realized a LOT of my clothes were for a life I thought I *should* have instead of what it actually is. Making that realization really freed up not just closet space, but also a lot of emotional energy mourning the life I should be living. If I didn’t see those power suits staring at me every morning when I opened the closet, I didn’t think about it anymore and I got on with what I really was doing.
You are SO right about freeing up emotional energy by getting rid of clothes that don’t suit our lifestyles. I had a lot of “shoulds” staring at me in my closet, so I got a sinking feeling when I opened my closet. There are still some shoulds in there, but your comment is motivating me to get rid of all of them. Thank you! I need to get on with what I’m really doing in life, too!
Interesting post! I too have trouble with the actual letting go part. One question I ask myself is, would I rather own this or have more empty space in my wardrobe? Other similar questions are – would I rather have less to wash, hang, fold, mend, etc.
Those are good additional questions to add to the mix, Abby! Empty space is underrated. I remember feeling a sense of peace with my smaller Project 333 wardrobe. Of course, I knew my other stuff was still around. I’m gradually coming to terms and embracing a smaller wardrobe and it feels good.
If something in my wardrobe passes all the above questions, I have one final question that really works as a do or die for me. I have an acquaintance/competitor in the same business who is ALWAYS stylishly dressed whether I see her at a work event or in the grocery store. So my final question is, “If I ran into her, would I be happy I was wearing this?” This question works for me because there really is no fudging on the answer.
Great question, Carter! I’m sure we can all think of such a person. For some, it’s an ex-boyfriend … I will add your question to my arsenal. I know there are some things I wouldn’t want to wear when running into such a person!
“Is it well made?” I reject a lot of clothing in the store because of design or construction flaws. For example, heavy trim on thin fabric or no extra trim (special buttons, sequins or whatever). or no linings on skirts with knit or loose weave fabric. Stuff with no seam allowance so hems can’t be lengthened, etc.
“Does it fit within my style preferences so it will look good on me?’ I am drawn to double-breasted coats, jackets, trench coats, etc. They do not look good on me. I have trained myself to turn away and shop among the single-breasted items. I may look but I do not BUY double-breasted clothes.
“Shop alone” unless you have someone who is your true style guru and understands your needs and your body type.” Don’t take your sister of BFF (or worse, mother) shopping unless they fully know AND acknowledge your style preferences and body type limitations (and advantages). It’s so easy to get “talked” into buying someone else’s dream dress or sweater.
Those are good questions to add to the mix, Dottie! I also like your suggestion to shop alone, as many of my buying mistakes were made when shopping with others. I enjoy shopping with others, but rarely do it anymore. It’s too easy to get talked into something. The same can be true for befriending sales associates. It’s best to stay cordial but not get too chummy with them, as then it’s easier to get talked into things. I got a chuckle out of your “or worse, mother” comment 🙂
I don’t view buying clothes as a recreational activity so I go alone –like to the dentist or the grocery store — a solo activity. However, I do have friends who have asked me to help them choose an important dress (like a wedding dress!) or interview suit. I believe they value my honest assessment of what works for them — not what I would wear in similar circumstances. (It can be tough to swallow your own style/color/fabrication preferences when helping someone choose a special item. But I believe that friendship requires this of us.)
I have problems with #3, buying too many dressy clothes when the truth is I rarely have the energy to participate in anything that would warrant something more than my daily casual. I try to remind myself when looking at dressy sale items in my new (bigger) size that I have ENOUGH. If it is still perfect, then I need to send the replaced item out the door.
I have too many casual clothes that are my daily wear. Part is that I am exquisitely sensitive to my environment and dress according to the temperature. I have put away my summer clothes but today is very muggy and in the low 70s as we await the storm. I am in cotton pants, a cotton lomg sleeve blouse with sleeves rolled up and deck shoes, no socks. The ac is on and I am comfortable. After the rain comes and the temps drop, I will switch to a knit top and cotton socks. This is an ongoing issue so I have clothes to suit all environments. What I need to address is too many duplicates, which as I have written before on this blog, stems from a fear of shortage that is an unfortunate relic of my youth. I am working on this. I have to keep telling myself that I have ENOUGH, I try to reduce exposure to email sales and catalogs to reduce temptation. What I have found useful against overbuying duplicates is Debbie’s idea of counting how many of each item I have. Thank you, Debbie.
Once I see that number, I am restrained from adding more unless it is an upgrade and I am replacing
I’m glad my suggestion to count the items in your wardrobe has been helpful for you, Sandra. The concept of ENOUGH is an important one and can be hard to grasp. I keep grappling with it myself and am gradually getting more comfortable of the idea of having less and being happy with what I have. It’s difficult to quiet the “wanting machine,” but limiting exposure to temptation (as you are doing) is a very good step in the right direction. It sounds like you’re doing great! Having a one in, one out policy helps a lot, too. Good job!
I relate to/agree with everything Sandra said. It really helps to have it all put into words because I know what I have been doing has no logic! I love reading your posts Debbie, your honesty is admirable. The details you include and your thought processes are fascinating and truly helpful to me.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Shelley. I’m so glad my posts are helpful to you and others. As for my honesty, it isn’t always easy, but the old saying is true… “The truth shall set you free.” That’s definitely been true for me!
This post could of not been written at a better time for me! I’m on a guilt trip right now from buying too much the past month and in the process of clearing out pieces that I haven’t worn in a while. I always practice the one in one out rule with my wardrobe which is great for keeping the number of pieces I own down to a manageable amount but has not helped my shopping binges. My problem of getting rid of pieces I don’t wear is always the same 2 dilemmas:
1) I may still wear it one day. If I get rid of it I may regret it later, which has happened with some pieces I’ve given away too hastily.
2) I spent A LOT of money on these pieces even though I’ve hardly worn them. I have gotten rid of plenty of expensive pieces in the past but it always takes awhile for me to give them up because of the hefty price I stupidly paid for them.
I am getting better at practicing Bridgette Raes’s point of questioning why some pieces are better than others but the two dilemmas I have a hard time getting over stops me from attaining a better handle on my wardrobe. What I really need help on is to stop shopping for the same items over and over again! If I were to put together all the clothes that I have given away and what I currently have, I’d be laughing at how similar everything is in terms of styles and especially in color.
It’s great to see you commenting again here, Wendy! I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time, though. I can definitely relate to your dilemmas. Your first dilemma is why I still have some two-time “benchwarmers” in my closet (that are threatening to be three-time losers!). Some of these pieces were also expensive, which DOES make it harder to let them go. Selling things on consignment makes me feel a little better, even though I only recover a fraction of the cost. Sometimes I push myself to wear something, even just for an hour or two, so I can see how I really feel wearing it. More often than not, this just confirms that I need to let that item go.
Like you, I’ve bought – and purged – many very similar colors and styles. I think it’s because I was shopping with my emotions instead of my brain. I’m doing better now, but I still make mistakes. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves and forgive ourselves for our mistakes of the past. The fact that you do one in, one out is wonderful. I didn’t do that for a very long time and I got so overwhelmed with my huge closet. Change takes a long time, but if you keep taking it one day at a time and try to do the right thing every day, you’ll get there. We both will1
I know I’ve said before that I’ve passed along about half of my wardrobe this year. I’ve always gotten rid of a lot of clothing, but not buying huge amounts of new things has kept the number of items I own down this year. I am happier with less. I always make it a point to try to wear everything I own. I have a clump of empty hangers and when I’ve worn something it goes on the left side. When I get dressed I try to choose from the right hand side of unworn items. If I never want to wear it, put it on and take it off several times, or wear it and don’t like it-it will head to the donation bag. Every few months I’ll go through everything and see if there are things that aren’t getting any love. I still think the most important thing I can do for the state of my closet is to not buy new items that I don’t love and to make sure that I will use them.
Hangers are a perennial garage sale item. I switched to different hangers and sold the “still new” older ones in a garage sale. I tied 3 together with ribbon and sold them in sets. Someone bought all of my hangers. Gone is the temptation to fill them up!
I can identify with what you wrote, Tonya. I’ve also been good about purging wardrobe items in the past, but it didn’t help all that much when I kept bringing so many new things in! Buying less is really one of the big keys to getting things under control! Simple but not always easy… You seem to have a good system for wearing your clothes and keeping track of things. It’s good that you put the thinks you don’t like wearing in the donation bag. I’ve gotten better about doing that, too. No point in keeping things we don’t feel good in!
Dottie, smart thinking about selling hangers at garage sales! I’ve been giving mine to other people (I had SO many before), but if you can make a little extra money from them, why not?
I am excellent at purging household items and my kids wardrobes but when it comes to my clothing, it gives me anxiety. I have been known to bag up clothing to donate, put it into my car, and then several days later rummage through and retrieve items, which, of course, end up going back into the bag in the next purging round and so on. I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath and just throw the bag into the donation bin.
It’s super easy to get rid of the awful, can’t-stand-it and worn out. It’s easy to identify the great and the loved, the keepers. It’s the middle ground that is the problem – the OK’s but not-quite-rights. The benchwarmers as you call them.
Doing Project 333 has been very interesting in that I have been able to see that although I have a lot of pieces, I have very few pieces that make COMPLETE outfits. A lot of my garments don’t get worn a lot, not necessarily because they are benchwarmers but because they don’t tie in with enough other pieces that I already own.
As I removed them and looked at my keepers, I could clearly see that I am not buying enough of what I am calling the “bridge-builders” – the pieces that bridge between the jacket and pants/skirt for example. I have some great jackets that are not being worn enough purely because I don’t have the tops that go with them & the pants/skirt and create a complete outfit. Or tops that are difficult to wear because I don’t have the right pants/jacket/cardigan to go with them. One of my new questions for these garments is “do I want to invest more $$$ to buy something to go with this item?” If the answer is no – the garment has to go.
And the ultimate lesson for me – buy clothes, scarves & shoes that make complete outfits and bridge the gaps of what I already own. Sounds so simple and so logical.
It seems like you are already learning SO much from Project 333, Carolyn! I learned similar things about my wardrobe when I did the challenge. We really need to think in terms of outfits when we shop; otherwise we end up with lots of “closet orphans” which may end up becoming “wardrobe benchwarmers”! You’re learning powerful lessons and making tough decisions that will serve you well in the long run. I know it can be painful to have to let go of rarely worn clothes, but if you take the lessons forward, you’ll be far wiser and make fewer mistakes in the future. Keep up the great work!
If I haven’t worn it in over a year I start to consider purging. Also #4 is a great tip. About to go through a big purge.
Welcome, James, and thanks for your comment! What you suggest is a good rule of thumb, as we’ll usually wear most things we like within a year (with the possible exception of formal wear). Good luck with your big purge! I’m guessing you’ll feel a lot better about your wardrobe after it’s done.
I would like to pass on a recommendation for Julie Morgenstern’s book “Shed your Stuff, Change your life.”
This is different to the typical organisation and decluttering books around as it is about defining your theme to move forward in life, finding your “treasures” that support and enhance your theme and then letting the trash go from there. As she says, you could have a pefectly organised drawer of things you never wear, that makes it organised but it is still clutter.
One of my themes is “simplicity” and I have just purged a whopping 50 items from my wardrobe without the usual anxiety that I get. It was really easy for me to let go of these things (some of which have been hanging around unworn for years) as they did not complement the “simplicity” theme for my life. The opposite, they were items that complicated my life for all sorts of reasons – too big/too small, need alterations, need new top to go with, not comfortable etc etc etc.
Very useful for me, may be useful for others.
She asks you to find your “treasures”
Thanks for the book recommendation, Carolyn! That sounds like a book I really need to read. I love the idea of defining a theme to support the process. I would have “simplicity” as one of my themes, too. It has been a theme in my life for several years now, but it’s only in this year that it’s making its way to my wardrobe. My wardrobe has been one of my most difficult areas to simplify. Now I feel like a different person from the “more is more” Debbie that was present only months ago. It sounds like the book you mentioned could be a lot of help for me and for many of my readers. There might be some blog posts in there, too… Again, I thank you for the suggestion. Congrats on purging 50 items from your wardrobe without anxiety!
Love your pointers to begin the purging process. I have had a career change in my life and pondered long about what to do with my old clothes. I kept them all mostly out of nostalgia and thought I was attached to them. Here is my purging method that proved I was not really attached to these things.
My neighbor, whom I invited to my purge, is an avid crafter whose partner is a painter. As I was removing the clothes from my closet she and a fellow crafter were busy at work cutting and tearing apart the clothes to use as quilting fabric for a shelter, and what was unusable, cut for cleaning rags. It was so fun seeing these ladies going at the pile of shirts and skirts. The buzz from the cutting made me purge more.
I ended up with no no regrets and was able to see my wardrobe transformed into a comfy quilt for a needy person.
It took initial courage, but what a load off of my mind afterwords.
Col
I love this story, Collette! Thanks so much for sharing it. You are one courageous lady 🙂 I love that you ended up with no regrets and a needy person ended up with a beautiful quilt. Win-win!
Thank you SO much for this! Well stated and I like your examples of items you decided to purge and why. My closet & drawers are very organized (by color, sleeve length, etc…). And I recently started using the Stylebook App (which is dynamite the way!) but I know I still have too much & am wasting the clothes I never wear. You’ve inspired me to go thru it again with new eyeballs & new questions to ask as I do! Goodwill, here I come!
I’m glad you found this post helpful, Jennifer. Like you, I also find it useful to organize my closet by color, sleeve length, etc. I’ve heard good things about Stylebook, but it’s not yet available for Android 😦 Best wishes with your continued wardrobe culling!
Love the post. I am a clothes hoarder. It is very hard for me to toss anything that I can just wear around the house. I am not sure why? I estimated after doing a count today that I own around 250 t-shirts and 70 pair of jeans. That is not counting all the other items. I am trying to get motivated but I am not sure I have it in me to be ruthless.
On a happier note I have nearly conquered not buying things just because it is a good deal. I must love it to purchase it no matter what the price. I have also committed to get rid of an item for every item I bring in. If I love an item enough to purchase it do I also love it enough to let go of something else?
Glad you liked this post, Cindy. It sounds like you are making some good progress. Congrats on resisting the “good deals” and committing to a “one in, one out” policy. I think having such a policy can be very helpful. As for your t-shirt and jeans collections, perhaps you will become more ready over time to let go of some of them. For many of us, paring things down gradually works better than being “ruthless” with closet purging. Just take things one step at a time and do it a bit at a time and you might find that is an easier road for you. Best of luck to you!
More great tips on wardrobe purging here. I think it is also important to set and then remind oneself while purging what the end goal is. In the past, I’ve set mini goals for myself. One that worked well was with my summer wardrobe two years ago. I gave myself 3 months to wear my favorite summer pieces. Then at the end of 3 months I purged everything that went unworn. Drastic, but it gave my purging process a specific goal. And for a while I had a manageable summer wardrobe, until I started shopping again of course. This was also how I realized I only wear 2 pairs of shorts for summer, because I am often in a/c settings and cold.
I think having mini goals can be very helpful! In fact, that’s what I’m doing this year with my wardrobe. I’m seeing what I wear within a given time frame and then purging the unworn or unloved items. It’s seeming less drastic as I get more and more used to the idea of having a smaller wardrobe. The more I pare down, the easier it is for me to let go of the ho-hum pieces in my closet. In fact, I’m wearing something as I type this that will probably go after I take it off!