Behavior & Psychology

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A Hard Habit to Break

I started this blog in January 2013 as a way of keeping myself honest and accountable as I worked to overcome my decades-long compulsive shopping problem.  I also hoped to potentially connect with and inspire others who struggle with overshopping.  Over the past year-plus, I’ve made excellent progress with my recovery and have been pleased that many others have followed along and shared their challenges and triumphs with me and with each other.

That’s the good news, but if you sensed that there’s a “but” coming, you’re absolutely right!  While I pat myself on the back for what I’ve accomplished thus far, I have to be honest and confess that compulsive shopping is proving to be a very hard habit for me to break.  In this post, I spill the proverbial beans about my continued struggles and what I’ve come to understand about myself and my motivations.

A Difficult Climb

Recovering from compulsive shopping can be a difficult climb…

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What is Your Closet Personality Type?

Last week, I watched a video from style expert Bridgette Raes on fashion psychology and closet personality types.  I found the insights presented in the video so fascinating that I decided to address a blog post to this topic.   I believe that many of you will also enjoy these concepts and may learn some things about yourselves through Bridgette’s wisdom.

Window to the Soul

During her eleven years of working as a stylist and spending time in hundreds of women’s closets, Bridgette Raes has encapsulated five main closet personality types.  She strongly believes that our closets really “tell on us” as people and that how we dress, shop, and manage our wardrobes can be reflective of all parts of our lives.  Whereas many people feel the eyes are windows to the soul, Bridgette considers the closet a window to our internal realities.  In short, “messy closet, messy life.”

Closet Personality Types

“Our closets are windows to our souls.” – Bridgette Raes

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Step Away from the Computer!

I’ve struggled with compulsive shopping for over thirty years. Ever since I started having disposable income, I’ve wanted to spend it on clothes, shoes, and accessories.  Some of you have questioned whether I am in serious debt.  While I do not carry any ongoing debt at present, I’ve battled financial insolvency on numerous occasions in the past.  I had to be bailed out of credit card debt three times and I used a debt consolidation service once.  For all of the other times when I was in debt up to my eyeballs, I stopped shopping “cold turkey” and “white-knuckled” it for as long as possible until I was able to claw my way back to solvency.

The Evolution of Shopping

That was then, back in the days before a shopaholic could indulge her addiction with a few mere mouse clicks at any time of the day or night.  These days, it’s not enough to stay away from the mall while you try to pay down your credit card debt or build up a nest-egg.  Temptation is virtually everywhere and it’s no longer possible to simply hole up in your house or apartment and not shop.

Online shopping

Online shopping has made it much easier for us to overshop.

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Salespeople Are Not Your Friends!

Awhile back, I was shopping with a friend at Nordstrom.  We were in the shoe department when she pulled me over to introduce me to a friend.  This “friend” was one of the shoe salesmen and she actually introduced both of us to each other as her friends (as in “Debbie, this is my friend so-and-so” and “So-and-so, this is my friend Debbie”).  At first I wondered if she had a friend who just happened to work in the Nordstrom shoe department, but it soon became clear to me that she only knew him from their interactions while she was shopping for shoes.  She shopped so often that she had started to consider the salespeople her friends.

I Have a Confession to Make…

Lest you think I’m being overly judgmental toward my fellow shopaholic friend, I have a confession to make.  I have also come to view salespeople at various department stores, shops, and boutiques as my friends.  I’m not sure if I ever introduced them to others as my “friend so-and-so,” but I did consider them friends in my mind and, more importantly, my heart.

Salespeople are not our friends

Do you view store salespeople as your personal friends?

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A Different Kind of Shopping

Yesterday, I went to the mall.  It’s something I’ve done countless times before and it used to be something I did weekly, if not more often.  In fact, it was pretty much my “default activity.”  I shopped when I was happy, sad, anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, bored, or whatever other emotion dominated my mindset.  I shopped regardless of whether or not I really needed anything new. Shopping was my favorite hobby and I didn’t need a reason, just a destination.

My trip to the mall yesterday was different in several significant ways.  In today’s post, I share what was different, how I felt, and what it all means in terms of my recovering shopaholic journey.  As with all of my posts, it’s my hope that you’ll learn from my experience, both from my past mistakes and from the knowledge I’ve gained as I worked to overcome my compulsive shopping problem. Continue reading →