The holiday season is upon us once again, along with all of the associated pressures and temptations to shop.  A year ago at this time, I offered a number of tips for dealing with Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and other related holiday challenges.  As I re-read that post yesterday, I pondered what else I could write about the subject of holiday shopping – and overshopping.   I decided that I do have more to say, but I’m going to veer off in a bit of a different direction, to a topic that isn’t often discussed.

Do you struggle with holiday stress & overshopping?

Buying for Ourselves During the Holidays

In addition to the buying we do for our loved ones (and even some not so loved ones), many of us also purchase things for ourselves this time of year.  While some people might consider such behavior selfish, I really don’t think that’s what it’s about.   In today’s post, I’m going to explore the subject of self-nurturing during what is often a very stressful time of year.

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For years, shopping was my go-to activity for when things weren’t going well in my life.   If I had any sort of bad feelings, I did my best to banish them by heading out to the shops, browsing online stores, or perusing fashion blogs and forums.   I distracted myself from feeling anxiety, worry, fear, sadness, and a whole host of other distressing emotions by means of what many people call “retail therapy.”

Have you ever tried to “fix” your problems through shopping?

I convinced myself that my tactics worked because I did feel better, at least for a while.  But now that I’ve been on my recovering shopaholic journey for almost two years, I feel quite differently.  I now know there are many, many things in life that shopping can’t fix and only one thing it can.   If you head out to fill a legitimate wardrobe gap, you may be able to fix that problem via shopping.  Of course, there’s a fair amount of luck involved in even such directed shopping, but it is possible to fix a defined closet need.   However, that’s the limit to what shopping can do in terms of the problems in our lives. Continue reading →

I’ll start this post off with a story.   Last night, my husband and I had a “date night” to see a movie (“The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby,” which I really enjoyed).    I decided to wear a dress that I had purchased back in August and had worn once during September.   I didn’t try this dress on for the “first impression test” two weekends ago, as I had worn it so recently, but I really should have.

Do you wear things you don’t love because you feel guilty?

The first time I wore the dress, I didn’t love it.   I partially chocked up those feelings to being bloated and hormonal, but I also I felt the dress was too voluminous.  So I did what I’ve often done in the past.  I brought it to my tailor to have it taken in.   After I picked it up, I tried it on to make sure the alteration had been done correctly.  It seemed fine, so I hung the dress back up in my closet. Continue reading →